Let’s Talk About Depression, Part Two
Some of you who follow me closely on social media may have noticed that I removed myself from the major websites that I use over this past weekend. As you may be able to deduce based on the subject matter of this post, I did this because I had an episode that I felt was bad enough to distance myself from others over. I am writing this today not to talk about the specifics about why it happened, though I can tell you that it was very much stress related. I’m here to talk about what brought me back so soon afterwards, even though I expected to be gone for longer. If you missed my original article on depression, I highly recommend you check it out here: http://nweasel.me/2015/12/lets-talk-about-depression/
Normally, I don’t like complaining about things via my social media, though I do it anyway. I feel that, by doing so, I am just asking for pity, or begging people to notice me so that I can feel less bad about myself. To be completely honest, a lot of it has to do with wanting people to notice me. One of my biggest problems continues to center around the fact that, even though I have two jobs and am around a lot of people, I cannot consider many, if any of them, my friends. So when something happened between myself and someone who I consider a friend this weekend, I broke, and left social media entirely.
I decided today to restore my accounts, however, due to a couple of people who helped me. I am extremely thankful to have a supportive family who allows me to come home to visit them anytime that I want, when I need to. Staying the night at my parents’ house was the best decision that I could have made. They made me feel welcomed, as they always do, and we had a very good time together. My mother also sent me home with more food than I think I had in my entire apartment, but if I’ve learned anything over my time of living on my own, its never to pass up the chance for free food.
In addition to my family, I also had a very few amount of friends reach out, but most importantly, my old best friend. While he and I don’t talk that often, he makes sure to keep up with what is going on with my life, to make sure that I am doing okay. When he noticed that my social media accounts were gone, he immediately called me to see if I was okay. Its a small gesture, since he is half a country away, but something like that meant a lot to me.
There isn’t much more that I need to say about the topic, except a few small words of advice for people who are depressed. First of all, don’t push away people that are trying to help. You may feel like you want to be alone, and that’s okay. I did too, and I didn’t answer my friend’s call right away. Instead, I texted him asking if I could get a hold of him the next day. We spoke the next day, and it was a good feeling. The other is to trust your friends. While my trust happened to be broken that day, which sent me into the spiral that it did, that friend has tried to make it up since then. If you watch over your friends, they will watch over you. I have no idea if what I just wrote means anything, or even makes sense, but it felt good to write it, and to let you all know what happened. I am fine, and still working towards being a better person. I love you all; be well.