Weasel Terrahawk Vs. The World

Disclaimer: The following article contains thoughts pertaining to the author, and is not an actual informational article. It also fits under the “super long” category, so please set aside some time if you are planning on continuing to read. Your thoughts and responses are still heartily welcomed on this entry. Thank you for reading.

In less than three weeks, I will be thrust into the next journey of my life. I will be graduating from college with a four year degree, and searching for what I am destined to do for the next leg of my existence. But what that is is still a mystery to me, as I’m sure it is to many young adults struggling to find where they are going with the world the way that it is right now. However, unlike most, I feel that my outlook on the world, and the way that I want to live it, is a bit different compared to others. I’m not trying to sound as if I’m a self-important figure who is above others, I just feel that the way that I live my life, or rather, the way that I WANT to live my life, differs from the norm in our society today.

I live in my dreams. I dream of a perfect life, or as some may think of it, a life out of a comic book. Though it wasn’t until just about a week ago where I finally realized how far into my dreams I really look for out of my life. It all started when I saw the movie Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, directed by Edgar Wright, which is based on the Scott Pilgrim comic book series by Bryan Lee O’Malley. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, which I highly recommend that you do, here is the CliffsNotes version of it: Scott Pilgrim, the hero, dreams about a girl, Ramona Flowers, who he later finds out is real; finds her, convinces her to date him; but she has seven evil exes who he must defeat in order to be able to continue dating her, and each of the fights is a video game styled ultra unrealistic scene. In short, for nerds like me, it’s awesome.

Through all of that, though, it doesn’t exactly tell you much about how this got me thinking the way that I am. No, it wasn’t the nerdy video game references or fight scenes that did it [however they did make the movie very cool visually]. The best way to explain it would be to have you read the comics, specifically, and then come back, but since that would be difficult, let me just enlighten you. Through most of the comics [and the movie], Ramona and Scott are very happy together. They spend a lot of time together, have fun together, go out together and tackle each difficult obstacle together. Not only that, but Scott has a dedicated group of friends, specifically the ones that are in the band with him, who he hangs out with often, and has a good time with them as well.

As of now, this is all sounding pretty straight forward, but nothing that goes on in my head is that straight forward. One of the quotes that Ramona uses in the movie is that she came to Toronto, “to find a new life”. Right now, I lead a life that isn’t rainbows and unicorns, and the thought of leaving what I have here behind and starting a new life is one that greatly interests me. I don’t have a past here that means much of anything to me, and the thought of having a clean slate and just, “living in the moment”, is one that I wish I had the option to try.

This all hearkens back to my original point, however, of living in my dreams. When I lay down for sleep at night is when my mind is the most active, and when most of my best ideas and thoughts come to mind. It’s also when I think about my life the most, and wonder where I am going next. In the past week, I have thought about what I want out of my future, and it’s come down to a few simple facts; ones that are something that could only come out of a comic book. The world is a complicated place, but for me, being able to have a girlfriend, eventually live with them, and go about our lives, happy, is what I look for. Obviously this isn’t necessarily original, but, it’s not like that’s all I want out of life. But right now, in this moment, leaving this life behind and starting a new one with someone special is the first thing that comes to mind.

I’ve thought a lot about what I’m going to be doing next. In three weeks time, I won’t have any more schooling to worry about, and life will become that much more complicated. The world is full of career choices, and many of them are difficult to get in to, however I’m looking to make my own way into this world, and it’s turning out to be the hardest decision I’ve made. One can’t just make their own career, especially not alone. In this world, people work as a team, together, using each of their own unique talents to fulfill a common goal. I’ve learned, especially in this past week, that I don’t have that team, or the support from the people around me that I feel that I require. In saying that though, I want to make clear that I’m not begging for attention, though it just seems like I don’t have the friend-base that most people in this world seem to have.

Writing is something that I love doing, and it’s one of my potential future career fields that I’m looking in to. I created this website with the sole purpose of being able to share my writing skills, and my viewpoints and opinions, with the world, in the hopes that it might, one day, be recognized. However, I know that I have to do much more than just sit in front of a computer and write in order to make it somewhere in this world. Lately I haven’t even been able to bring myself to write, because I have so many other ideas that are built up that require the assistance of others with the skills that it needs. Video games have always been a go-to, as I am a nerd, and I enjoy playing, and own, many video games. But the idea of getting out and making memories of my life have been taking over, and it’s with these urges that I’ve realized how alone I’ve become in this world.

The dreams that I have about the way that I want my life to be are far-fetched, and I fully realize that. However, seeing the genuine feeling that I’ve seen [and read] in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World reminds me how far away I am from ever reaching those levels. I am, and always have been, a hopeless romantic, and one thing that I always seem to fall back on is the fact that I wish I had someone who I could sit down with, cuddle up next to, and talk to about, well, anything. On a daily basis, I look through my phone contacts and my social network friends for someone who I can talk to about the way that I’m feeling, but there is no one that I can honestly, truly want to share the deepest inner most thoughts that I have [and those that I do want to talk to don’t want to talk to me, but, that’s another story for another time].

Our world is a very cut and dry place. We are a small piece of an immense puzzle. There are complex decisions that take place on a daily basis that most of us will never see or hear about. But most of us live our lives with severe repetition, doing what society feels is the right thing to do. Some lucky people live their lives one day at a time, never wanting to miss a moment that could become a life long memory. For me, I’m stuck in that endless loop of repetition, doing things I dislike doing, then going home to sit here, on my computer, and continue the repetition there as well. Of course, with the way that our world works, going out to do something usually costs money, which is always an extremely limited commodity for most people these days. Though, sitting inside, cuddling and maybe watching a movie, luckily, isn’t something that costs too much.

From when I started writing all of this, to this point, has been another adventure in my life. My major point that I was making in my “I live in my dreams” fact is that I have brought myself to ask for a “perfect” life, one that I’ve found MAY exist somewhere, but is far from my reach at this time. I ask for a happy relationship, a job that I’ve created that does more than just satisfy the wants and needs of a major corporation, and a life which can provide good times and happiness to more people than just myself. I can’t deny that I am not the most emotionally stable individual, nor could I be considered “a catch” in the ideals of a relationship, and once again, I can’t bring myself to say that, “just because it happened to that nerdy guy in that movie, it can happen in real life”, but, maybe that is the direction in which I am going. As I gaze into my future right now, the only thing that interests me is to finally be happy, and to be sharing that happiness with someone else who deserves it in my eyes.

Even though Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was a visual masterpiece to those who enjoy a good video game callback or two, it wasn’t just that that made it the epic that it has become. The sound design was one of the things that greatly appealed to me as well. I’m not talking about the soundtrack by the way, but rather, the original score that was composed. There’s a certain song, which involves a really sad scene, which makes my heart race every time that I hear it. It’s amazing how a three minute song can truly affect me as emotionally as it does, but, it’s the message that takes place during the song, and the quote which accompanies it that really tugs at my heartstrings. Here is that song, entitled “Bye and Stuff”, composed by Nigel Godrich, and featuring the voices of Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead:

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT3_EzeOL1Y

These next three weeks, and especially into these next three months, will be a very important time for me. It will be a time where I will learn about myself, learn about the world around me, learn what I will be doing next, and making my final decisions on what the next step is. I know that any of my dreams and aspirations that I currently have will require other people, especially in the career field aspect, which will be the most difficult part since I don’t have many people in my life that have the dedication that I do to my projects, and that I can trust beyond a shadow of a doubt. And if I ever want to find a “significant other”, I’ll need to find someone who shares my same views on life as I do, and who cares about me as much as I care about them, which, so far, has become the most difficult leg of my life’s journey. I’ve been given relationship advice many times before, and I’m not trying to rush or force one to appear before my very eyes, but I feel that the perfect relationship is one that truly does come from comic books, as it did in the Scott Pilgrim series.

Throughout all of this, though, the main point still stands that the movie Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, which, for the record, I have seen five times as of writing this, was an inspiration. To be completely honest, I actually have been thinking a lot since I’ve seen the movie about what else I’d like to do with my life in the future, and I know that before, I’ve told people that I want a Canon DSLR camera. I’ve begun saving just a little more on the side to get one of these, because I feel that I have a lot of ideas stemming from the creation of videos based on an idea, or even just a song. Maybe that’s another path I’d like to take with my life, but it’s getting to that point where the challenge is.

It’s always an adventure to understand the way that others think as well, so I do encourage you to provide your own input on my situation. Who knows, maybe by sharing my own story, someone else will want to share their own as well, or it might spark someone to follow their own dreams as well. If you’ve honestly taken the time to read this entire article, I encourage you to share it with others, and to share your feelings about it, or your own situation. You can either leave a comment below, and check back often for replies from others, and myself, or you can leave me a tweet and have a discussion with me @nweasel. Thank you for taking the time to read this article, and welcome to the insanity that is my mind.

3 Comments

  1. well put together. :) have you seen '500 Days of Summer'?

  2. Tim

    I'm sorta speechless right now after reading your article.. So much of it was written by the heart (and the brain, of course)

  3. @Steve I have not seen 500 Days of Summer actually. I assume it's pretty good?
    @Tim Thank you sir. I usually don't like writing about myself, but, well, yeah.

Write a Reply or Comment