Blinded By Love
love [luhv] –noun 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. [source]
A strong definition, no? If you’ve ever been in love, you know how powerful it can be. Love can give you immense happiness, love can change a person, and sometimes love can even break your heart. Whenever you are in love, and the person of whom you love loves you back, it’s the best of situations. At least, most of the time it is. Love is a fickle beast, and even when it seems like it’s at it’s best time, it could be a terrible disaster waiting to happen. Almost everyone who has been in love before has experienced heartbreak in some way. It’s very rare that people find eternity with the first person who they love, which is why the social ideal of dating exists. But if you are in a relationship at the moment, have you stopped and looked at it to see how well it’s working out for you?
When a person is in love, they tend to only see the goodness in their significant other. They see the times when he or she is kind and loving, when they give you gifts that mean the world to you, or when you spend time together just the two of you. What a person has to watch out for, though, is those blinders that they are putting on. When you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend and they are with their friends as well, does he or she treat you differently? Does he or she get mad when you hang out with your friends who are of the opposite gender? Do they get jealous often when someone else of their gender talks to you?
Jealousy is a painful emotion for everyone involved. Not only are you self-destructing yourself, but you are harming the person who you supposedly love by not trusting them. Of course, having perfect trust in anyone can be a dangerous thing as well, but to be with someone for the rest of your life and to love them fully, you have to keep a high level of confidence in them, that they are being as loyal to you as you are to them. A problem arises, though, when the situation is recognized by the people around you, yet you refuse to accept that there is an issue. This is called denial, and in the end, denial will only hurt yourself.
As an example of this exact situation, there was a girl on a social networking website who was a friend. While not a close friend, she was still known and talked to on a regular basis. This social networking site allowed users to post a status message and asked the question, “What are you up to?”, although, as with any social networking site, you can pretty much put anything there to send to the people around you. When times were tough for her, she would post a status message that was saddening, proclaiming that her current situation was unhappy. Since this website publicly posts these updates, men would come in and ask what was wrong, as this is a default reaction, and a natural one. Following this, the boyfriend, also on this site, would also post replies, angered that other men were responding to her post as if they knew her as well as he did. After a few messages questioning this behavior, she commented by saying that she knew he was like this, and did this semi-often, but that she loved him and didn’t want to leave him. A week later, she removed her account from the website and hasn’t been heard from since.
While she admitted that she knew he was jealous, she figured that by leaving the social networking website that the problem would be fixed. Of course, there is a potential that this is true, but overall, it only seems like this was a way of making an excuse, not to other people, but to yourself, that with this out of the way, the relationship would be perfect again. This is that situation in where she is blinded by the love that she has for this man. And, of course, we have no idea if he is receiving comments and messages on his status updates as well, and is just being a hypocrite. But by this public display of aggression, it was obvious to many around her, including her friends, that the relationship that she was in had it’s issues, and she wasn’t willing to admit that there were any.
On the non-depressing side of things though, love can be an amazing feeling, and can really improve one’s lifestyle in many ways. If you’ve ever been in love, you know that those times when you are together are some of the happiest times of your life. When life gets you down, you have someone that will always be there for you, to comfort you and keep you going. And when things are great, they only get better when you share your happiness with that one person in your life. But one must always remember that if they see public outbursts against them that sometime is wrong, and should be dealt with. And if these issues don’t stop, it’s a very good time to step back and take a look at what is going on.
Some people love for lust, for that one moment of pure ecstasy that makes them the happiest, or best feeling. And there are others who look for love on the long term. If you really want love on the long term, you have to remember that you are looking at this person who you are dating and wondering if they are the one of whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. If they are treating you in any sort of disrespectful way now, you have to stop and think about how they may treat you in the future, when a disagreement comes up about this or that about your lives together. To end on a positive note, though, when you DO find that person, don’t let go of them. Cherish the moments that you have together, and enjoy the lives that you have with each other. Love can be an amazing feeling; just make sure that they share that feeling with you, truly.